Blogging Resolutions

It’s a new year, this is a new blog, and it’s occurred to me that, since this blog lacks somewhat of a mission statement, I ought to earn your confidence by laying some ground rules for myself as a blogger.  Why should you casually subscribe to this website?  You don’t even know me!  … Well, if you’re reading this, you probably do know me and accessed this site via Facebook or Twitter, and you may even share my last name.  (Hi Mom.)  But maybe there is someone out there in, say, North Dakota, reading this blog and thinking, “Who is Annamal?  Why I am I reading this?  Why do I give a shit, except for the fact that she just mentioned my rather random home-state?” 

Here’s why.  These are my blogging resolutions.  Okay, they’re not exactly resolutions, but calling them that fits with the whole New Year’s theme.  So here we go…

Annamal Crackers’ BLOGGING RESOLUTIONS aka rules to keep this thing on track:

1.     I resolve to not let this blog get weirdly personal.  You will read nothing that I have struggled to type while curled in a ball weeping tears of heartache onto the keyboard.

2.     I will not endorse products, unless they are 1. Super awesome or 2. I am getting paid to do so.

3.     I will never attempt to teach you a lesson.  My posts will not wrap up tightly with a moral and a picture of me hugging small children. 

4.     I will not write about my friends and family.  Unless I change their names and locations and say that the story I’m telling about them did not actually occur in real life, but in a very strange and vivid dream I had after accidentally taking too much cold medicine.

Does that put you at ease at all?  Inspire you to want to return here, trusting that you won’t have to read stories of some break-up, subsequent spiral into depression, and how I, a random person you don’t know, achieved happiness through extreme weight-loss, Jesus, and charity work?  (Note: none of the above happened.)  Well, I hope it does inspire your confidence.  Because I have things I would like to tell you about.  Tales of wit and whimsy, as it were.  So bear with me, and we’ll see where we go!  Happy 2012. 

–Annamal