Think Fast: What’s your favorite quotation?
If you just answered, “An eye for an eye makes the whole
world blind,” then congratulations! I can
tell that you’re really socially aware, you read a lot of Gandhi, and that
you’re obviously totally original. But
if you weren’t one of the 19% of people who went straight for the eye thing,
maybe you’re one of the 27% of people who answered, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the
stars.”
Dammit, I need to address something. If you shoot for the moon and miss, you’re
not going to land among the stars. What
with there being no gravity in space and all, you might float around for a
while, but chances are you won’t have made it up that high anyway. You’re probably going to fall and die.
Understand, I don’t have a problem with dreams. Barack Obama inherited dreams from his
father, and now he’s President of the United States. Justin Bieber never stopped beliebing, and
now he gets to record songs with Will Smith’s son. I just have a problem with inspirational
quotations about dreams. I think that they’re
stupid.
“I’m a dreamer. I have to dream and reach for the stars, and
if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds.”
MIKE TYSON said that.
Because no one seems to scream “I like fluffy white clouds and eating
ears” more than this guy:
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| Photo: deliberationroom.com
Mike Tyson has also been quoted saying, “I’m on the Zoloft
to keep from killing ya’ll.” He has a professed
love of pigeons and is obviously a total softy.
“Man is a genius when he is dreaming.”
-Akira Kurosawa
Woman is a genius when she is not retweeting bullshit
about dreams.
“If you can dream
it, you can become it."
-William Arthur Ward
I dream of being the next Missy Franklin. Good thing that’ll happen.
“Dreams do come
true, if only we wish hard enough. You
can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it."
-J.M. Barrie
I used to love that quote, until I realized that it is
MISERABLY SAD. It reminds me of that
time I left my family and friends to go to a boarding school for the arts where
I couldn’t eat. And then my dream still
didn’t come true. Ha! Haha!
It’s so funny because it’s not funny at all! It’s just true! Moving on.
“Good things come
to those who wait.”
-Assumedly some bad mom
I think that proverb is supposed to teach patience, but
it’s often applied to dreams in a “Someday-My-Prince-Will-Come” sense. But waiting for good things to happen, or
waiting for your dreams to come true, is a TERRIBLE idea. Working towards them is a good one.
I grew up believing that if I was passionate and driven and
strong, I could do anything I wanted with my life. It was an unfortunate side effect of having
really supportive parents and a 1st grade teacher who believed my
love of “Boxcar Children” stories bespoke of unparalleled genius.
But I got tired of dreams not coming true, so I made it my
mission to fashion a foolproof method to guarantee that they would:
“I’ve discovered the
secret to making all my dreams come true.
The secret is to have really vague
dreams."
-Annamal Crackers
Specificity kills dreams.
I just ate a chocolate granola bar, and I enjoyed it. And you know what? I have always dreamed of “having enjoyable
experiences.” THAT DREAM CAME TRUE JUST
NOW. It has been my life-long dream to have
love in my life. And guess what? I have a cat who truly loves me. BOOM.
Dream achieved. I dream of good
things happening—any good things
happening—so that my dreams come true every day.
“Reach for anything
and if anything happens, then you’ll be okay.”
Inspirational.
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Twitter: @AnnamalHalligan
Dear god that's depressing.
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